I’m saying “excuse me” but I mean “why the fuck are u and ur friends fucking standing in the middle of the hallway blocking everyone what the fuck u fucker”
my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”
and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered
"Maybe i need to use the sleep"
ma’am when i said freestyle i did not mean rap. this is a swimming competition please turn down the beat. ma’am.
the cruelest injustice in the world is women who can’t have children but still have periods
do u ever think about how people who were born after their due date actually procrastinated birth
i think they were onto something with that